If you are thawing turkey giblets, that is, hearts and gizzards, don't do it in a microwave.
They explode. Loud. There is an air pocket inside them, I guess. Hell of a mess to clean up too.
You practically need a paint scraper.
If you don't have access to a blender, but you have the beater (the thing you stick in a blender and it spins), a power drill works fine. People get freaked out at the sight of it though. Well, it works!
And it mixes fast. Mash the potatoes first, then add the milk and butter or you will get some serious splatter. Better still, make a cardboard or plastic shield, to protect yourself and your property.
My Aunt Lucille used to boil the turkey carcass clean, and spray-paint it silver. She then made it into a little sleigh, and set a little Santa Claus figurine in the cock-pit, and some little reindeers in front. See, then you put your Xmas cards in the back. Pretty cool, eh?
I remember playing with such a sleigh- I'd swoosh it and swoop it and sing "Santa! Santa!
He is FLYING to your town! Santa! Santa! Flying to your town!" singin' out loud in an atonal daydream.
This attracted the attention of my Dad, who said "Gawdammit Matt you're FORTY YEARS OLD, put that THING DOWN!"
I am just kidding. I was probably four.
I had to do something. My aunt and grandma had a TV set, but somehow, some way, Lawrence Welk was always on it - as if there was a channel with 24 hours' 0' Welk.
The cool thing about my aunt's TV was this: without warning, the voices of truck drivers talking on their CB radios would burst from the speaker.
I wish I could find the schematic for how that Bone Sleigh was put together. Clever. I mean, it really looked like a sled! Mrs. Claus would be fooled! "Hi Santa, how did the.. HEY, that is not my Santa Claus husband, it is a turkey carcass cleaned and spray-painted silver, with a little plastic man!" I dug it.
It (making sleighs of turkey bones) is a farm-gal thang. I suspect that the instructions for this project probably appeared in the paper or the Farm Journal. I mean, a number of people have told me that they had relatives who made Bone Sleds, or have heard of people who made them. It caught on.
As it should have. And will again.
I will be saving the bones to this year's turkey. I will be up early tomorrow ere the dawn and bake that bad boy till he is buttered and biteable.
Soon afterward, the great bone sled will fly again.
Maybe I will take pictures of it and put them on here.
You know you want to see it.
COMING SOON: XMAS DOs and DON'Ts.
